The kids were already doing their rounds in the neighborhood, little grim reapers and evil witches wandering the autumn leaves laden roads. The occasional serial killer with a blood pumping butcher knife knocks on the door, attempting to strike the elderly ladies with fear but only gets pinches on his rosy cheeks. Street lamps ignite, lighting the spooky suburban streets for the trick-or-treating boys and girls.

Meanwhile, in a bare 3 apartment house on the corner of this frightening sight is a deadbeat young guy named Herman. Unlike the spirited children of this dark night Herman is dull, not dull as dirt since even dirt has some charisma. No, Herman is the guy that goes to work moving furniture for a living then treats himself at the sports bar, downing a couple cold ones before going home to tune out his already sputtering brain on a little mind erasing reality TV.

The only decent part of Herman’s duller than dirt life is this daily ritual of rotting television but on the month of October all that plays are Halloween specials. The typical slasher flick or ghost story can only be rerun before Herman suddenly reanimates, lamenting the days of proper prime time entertainment. In his youth, Herman would go with his friends to the graveyard and fashion some on the spot ghastly tale to jolt his buddies into a state of hysterics.

Tonight, he will not tolerate the garbage that passes off as a “Halloween special” so he went to the local video store, in business since 1985, and got himself the movie with most gruesome title he ever heard. The title, Blood Curdling Ultra-Violent Manslaughter on the Side of Route Doomsday XVII: The Return of Satanic Disco Cannibals from the Other Side of Planet Disastriod and the Heretical Communists. Herman knew from the title that he struck gold.